The problem with attachment is that you are depending of something outside of yourself to be happy. But we all know that nothing lasts forever. Things can break, get stolen, be misplaced, lost in a house fire, become redundant and a hundred other things. People can move on, drift away, change, fall out of love, get in an accident, move house and more. So your happiness is only temporary if you rely on them for it.

If you want to achieve stable happiness, you need to find it in yourself, not in things or other people.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have deep and lasting relationships, it just means you don’t depend on them to be happy.

For example, imagine a couple A. You have probably witnessed something like this before. They meet, they get together and ‘fall in love’. They spend all their time together. They think they’re really happy and they can’t stand to be apart.

But, after a while, they start to notice things about the other person that irks them. Eventually, they get into fights and break up. They’re used to spending all their time together, so they’re really unhappy because they’re alone. They can’t stand it, so they get back together. But all of the issues that caused them to break up in the first place come back, and they break up again. The cycle continues because they can’t stand the unhappiness that comes with being together, but they can’t stand the unhappiness that comes from being alone. They depend too much on having the other. It’s a downward spiral.

This is a typical example of an emotional dependency (attachment) to one’s partner. I know this doesn’t happen to everyone, but I know that in my experience, it does happen.

Now imagine couple B:

A couple ‘fall in love’. They spend a lot of time together, but they also spend some time apart. They miss the other person when they’re away, but they find their own life that is separate from their partner’s. They share things, and depend on the other person, but not all the time. They are independent, strong people together and on their own. They support each other and don’t hold the other back for selfish reasons. They’re not needy, suspicious or joined at the hip. Instead they’re honest, trusting, and strong. Because of this, their relationship is deep and fulfilling.

Should something bad happen to the other person, of course they would be devastated, just like anyone else. But they know that the other person would want them to find a way to move on, instead of losing their ‘life’ too.

They don’t agree on everything, and it’s not always easy for them either. But they keep an open mind, they’re willing to compromise and contribute equally to the relationship. They’ll probably live a long and happy life.

Couples A and B illustrate the difference between a relationship made of attachment and a truly loving relationship.

Get rid of that paper! Shuffling and reshuffling paper from pile to pile or file to file wastes time and keeps you from focusing on what needs to get done. Find a gigantic wastebasket and fill it up. The larger the wastebasket, the more you will use it. Throwing things away then becomes an art.

Enjoy! Files should not be an obstacle course. Put your most often reviewed files at the front of the cabinet. Here is a test to see if your current filing system works. Within two minutes, can you retrieve any paper you need? Go. If you failed the test you are wasting time searching through your files.

Never clear off your desk by randomly throwing things in a drawer. Gotcha! You will eventually have to go through that drawer. Instead, create a logical system for storing these items in your desk. A picture or two on your desk is probably not distracting, but limit pictures to a special few. The more pictures on your desk, the more distractions and interruptions you invite.

Organize your desktop! If you are right-handed, make sure the phone is located on the left side of your desk. You want to keep the right side of the desk (and your right hand) free to take notes. Just the opposite for lefties. Right-handed people should place the calculator on the right side of their desk.

Ditto the above for southpaws, the proud but under-represented! Avoid glass desktops. They glare and are hard to keep clean. You don’t need to spend valuable time wiping off fingerprints.

The use of credit card originated in the US during 1920s when individual companies began issuing them to their customers for purchases at company stores in different places. This use increased significantly after WW II when veterans returned and looked for the chance to travel for business and pleasure.

Diners Club, Inc. has introduced the first general purpose credit card in 1950 that could be used at a variety of stores and business. They charged cardholders an annual fee and billed them for their charges periodically. Another major card was established in 1958 by the American Express company.

Later came the bank credit card system which was introduced by the Bank of America in California. The bank credits the account of the merchant as sales slips are received and assembles charges to be billed to the cardholder at the end of billing period, including interest and charges. The system was licensed in other states starting in 1966 and was renamed Visa in 1976. MasterCard has introduced their own bank cards a few years later.

Nowadays, when we think about credit card, there are actually three different kinds of cards
available: a card offered by a bank, a travel and entertainment card, and a ‘house card’ which can be used only at a specific chain of stores like department stores, oil and gasoline companies, and telephone companies.

If you’ve got reasonably good credit, odds are you receive credit card offers in the mail all the time. But how to find the best one?

As a smart consumer, you need to shop around and weigh the pros and cons of each credit card you consider. Although the government regulates the interest rates and other financial aspects of credit cards, the marketplace is incredibly diverse. First, you may consider the basic terms of use for every credit card like interest rate/APR, minimum payment required, grace period on your credit card bills, finance charges, annual fee, cash advance fees, late-payment charges, over-limit fees.

You may also interested in features offered by the company instead of interest rate. However, if you pay your bill in full every month, the interest rate is not going to be as important as other card features, like frequent-flier miles or no annual fee. But if there’s even a remote chance that you might run a balance, you’ll want to focus on finding a card with a low APR.

Be very careful as some credit card companies offer a low introductory APR to attract new customers and get them to transfer balances, but the low rate is only good for a short time.

Last but not least, don’t forget to know, from the start, that almost all issuers—including
big, legitimate ones—hide fees and high interest rates in the small print of their disclosure forms and agreements. Take the time to read these.

More recently, scientists have speculated that even behavioral disorders, such as autism, have a biological basis. At the same time, they have been rediscovering the links between stress and health. Today, we accept that there is a powerful mind-body connection through which emotional, mental, social, spiritual, and behavioral factors can directly affect our health.

How to Protect Yourself

Today scientists are looking at how stress makes people ill, and what can be done to help prevent illness caused by stress. This new science is forcing the medical community to take more seriously the popular notions of the mind-body connection.

In response to stressful events, our bodies pump out hormones. These hormones aren’t necessarily harmful and can be very useful. The problem is when the stress response goes on for too long. That’s when you get sick. Hormones weaken the immune system’s ability to fight disease.

Dangers of Chronic Stress

Unhealthy levels of stress come in many guises. You may have to take care of a chronically ill person–and that’s stressful. Or you may be stressed from being in constant pain. Work related issues, marriage or family problems, and financial difficulties can generate chronic stress. Severe, chronic stress can damage our bodies in many ways.

Chronic stress has been shown to prolong wound healing, decrease response to vaccines, and increase the frequency and severity of upper respiratory infections. Stress also can aggravate existing health problems. It can worsen angina, disturb heart rhythm, raise blood pressure, and lead to stroke. It can spark asthma and may affect the digestive system, making ulcers, acid reflux, or irritable bowel problems worse. Stress can play havoc with your nerves and muscles, causing backaches, tension headaches, or migraines.

Take Yourself “Offline”

If you feel stressed all the time, you need to take yourself ‘offline’. We reboot our computers when they are overworked, but we don’t seem to do it with our bodies. If you’re exhausted from constantly working on deadline or caregiving, take a vacation–they’re not luxuries, they’re physical necessities. Find a place of peace where you can stop, look, and listen. Evidence shows that meditation bolsters immune function by reducing stress hormones that dampen immune cells’ ability to fight infection.

Exercise is a great way to improve your mood, and it changes the body’s stress response. If starting an exercise program seems too hard, then go slowly. A few minutes are better than no minutes–you can gradually increase how much you exercise every day. You don’t need to go jogging–walking has significant health benefits.

Yoga helps many people relax, while others find peace of mind through prayer, music, reading, or art. We need to find our place of peace and try to go there every day. Getting enough sleep is very important for protection. Lack of sleep can change moods, cause irritability, weight gain, inability to perform, and poor memory.

When to Seek Professional Help

If the stress is bad enough that you can’t fix it on your own, try seeking professional help. In some people, what may seem like ongoing stress is actually depression. Possible signs of depression include:

• Often waking up in the middle of the night with feelings of anxiety
• Suicidal thoughts
• Loss of weight and appetite
• Not wanting to be around other people
• Constant irritability

Depression is an imbalance of hormones and nerve chemicals–it’s a biological illness. And highly treatable.